"In
my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it dazzled me." (Augustine)
A
few weeks ago at my church's Bible study, we discussed strengthening
our hearts in relation to Hebrews 13:9. Since then, I've been
thinking about how much we strengthen our hearts in things that
cannot save. We want strong hearts – hearts that are confident in
our peace with God or hearts that are confident in some sort of
“good” that is ours – but nothing ever seems to be enough to
give us this security. Our greedy saviors are never full, and we're
often stuck in a joyless circle as we try to sustain them. We can
never relax and enjoy what we have in Christ, because we are being
our own saviors.
I've
noticed that women especially strengthen their
hearts by comparison. We have joy when we feel superior to our
sisters in Christ. Conversely, as soon as we see someone else with
better possessions, a more picture-perfect family, or a purer
righteousness, our hearts faint again.
To
solve such weak-heartedness, it seems silly to say that we're not
guilty enough, but I think we're often guilty over the wrong things
and miss true conviction of sin.
If
our hearts feel weak, we plan what to do better next time. We read
articles and talk to others about what to do. When we talk about
“what to do,” we don't expect someone to rattle off
the ten commandments. We are looking for practical tips on how to be
better at doing devotions, being a wife, working a job, or being a
mom. There is absolutely a place for practical advice, but have we
put practical advice in the place of God's law? (And have we taken
the time to see our guilt before a holy God and believed the
forgiveness we have in Christ?)
I
think many Christian women view things that God does not explicitly
command/forbid as God's law. We focus more on personal application
(which can differ from person to person) than on His actual commands.
For example, we might pressure ourselves to make meals for others and
feel righteous, even though we speak to our children harshly as we
prepare the meals. We look good and feel loving, but if we are unkind
to our children, are we truly loving our neighbors as ourselves? We
fail to measure up to God's true law, but we miss conviction for this
sin. Instead, we pat ourselves on the back for some outward
performance. We'd feel guilty if we didn't make the meal – everyone
else would think we were unloving. We consider our own personal
standards and what other people think of us, but do we consider God's
standards and what He thinks?
We
aren't the first people to emphasize our own laws or misinterpret
God's law. The Pharisees did it. For example, in Luke 6:6-11, they wanted to accuse
Jesus for healing a man on the Sabbath, but He asked, “Is it lawful
on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to destroy
it?” They were so fixed on their own “righteousness”
that they missed what truly honors God.
In
Hebrews 13, we see that some people follow certain regulations about
foods (that were pronounced clean after Christ's coming) as a means
of securing themselves before God, but it is not good for us to
strengthen our hearts this way. In 1 Timothy 1:3-7, Paul warns of
teachers who teach the law without truly understanding it and points
out that they emphasize vain things. This theme appears in Titus as
Paul warns of “the circumcision party” who teach “unprofitable
and worthless” things as they quarrel about the law (presumably
like the Judaizers of Galatians who wrongly required circumcision).
We're
living age old legalism, and the solution to legalism isn't simply to
see grace.* (Let me explain.) First, we need to see that we've never
kept God's law and have fallen short of His glory. It is only after
we are gutted by the law that we can see true grace. When we twist
His law, we miss conviction of sin and, consequently, the true love
of God.
We
think things like: “She wakes up before the sun, but I wake up 30
minutes before I have to leave for work.” “She only eats whole
foods, but I ate processed lunch meat today. Am I a bad steward of my
temple?” “I have mom-guilt because I didn't make my kids a fun
picnic lunch like she did.” “Man,
I wish I followed a cleaning schedule like she does.”
When
did God command us to wake at 5 a.m.? Did He forbid us from eating
lunch meat or command us to make at least one special memory with our
children per week? What pricks our consciences more – our apathy
toward reading God's Word or the fact that our husbands came home to
a messy house? Devotional time, healthy foods, events with our kids,
and clean homes absolutely matter. But these examples are just a few
of many ways in which we emphasize laws that God did not.
He
has commanded that we love Him with all our hearts and love our
neighbors as ourselves. Waking at 5 a.m. may be a way for some to
love Him more. We may decide eating lunch meat isn't the best way to
care for our bodies. Making memories with our children is a wonderful
way to love our neighbors. However, when we focus on these things, at
the expense of His true law, we miss His love.
Unlike
the Pharisees of Luke 6, the sinful woman of Luke 7:36-49 knows her
sinfulness under God's holy law. Even
so, she loves Him. Her
love for Christ
pushes her into place where
He is, and she worships Him in tender wonder.
She doesn't pour out her expensive ointment because she is keeping
some law she invented. She doesn't risk humiliation and kiss Christ's
feet because of legalism, and she is not strengthening her heart by
her actions. Her tears explode as a dam bursting from a heart already
made strong in His love. She knows that she has many sins and that
He's forgiven every one – thus she loves
much.
If
we water down the law, we are forgiven little because we see little
sin. But the woman of Luke 7 shows us just how dazzling our forgiving
Jesus can be.
Jesus
did not pay for the fact that you woke up at 8 a.m. instead of 6:30
a.m. this morning. He paid for the fact that you love yourself and
your own glory above Him and His glory. Christ is so much bigger than
we, with our watered down laws, view Him.
Setting
an alarm clock is something we can do. Loving God and others as He
demands is an insurmountable mountain. It is as high as our guilt,
and only Christ can climb these mountains. Praise God that He did
once and for all.
When
we recognize our true sin and repent of it, we honor Christ and His
sacrifice. We lay hold of who He truly is and what He truly did for
us. We honor Him by abandoning ourselves to His grace, and our hearts
grow stronger.**
We
miss so much of His holiness, His law, and our sin, but Christ did
not miss it when He bore our sins away at Calvary. Only here can we
be forgiven much, and only here can we begin to love much. I want
your heart and my heart to be strong in His forgiving love. May we
see Him meeting us here, in a wound deeper than we know, and be
dazzled.
*Antinomianism
and legalism spring from this low view of His holiness, law, and
Christ.
**Then,
knowing His forgiveness, we love Him and obey Him. In Titus 3:3-9,
Paul recaps the gospel and explains that this trustworthy word is
what benefits us. The gospel produces godliness and good works. We
know this, but how much time do we spend seeing our sin and seeing
His forgiveness? Thank God He will be faithful to lead us in this
trustworthy Word more and more.
